Goal Line Stand - The Brain

I suppose we should forgive the Juiceman for dropping the ball lately but knowing him, he'll come roaring back like Frank Gore bouncing back from a broken hand. You're up, Brain!

I always saw The Brain as Cameron Frye from Ferris Bueller's Day Off but finding this dejected image caused me to pay homage to one of the good, but terribly unlucky guys of our league...Brain

Enough humor because let's face it, the rest is so ugly it's not funny...

1st and 99 to go... The question on everyone's mind, "who else from the first round will be on my roster?" Well, Brain, only you can answer that one. Not even the Juiceman can prognosticate that choice...we know the knuckler is comin'. Will it be Mr. Alexander, Mr. Westbrook, or Mr. Manning? Let's face it, given your keepers you can't feel good about any position!


I hear there's some guy who had great stats a couple years ago in high school who may be available, or better yet, maybe Cecil Fielder has another son playing professional sports???

2nd and 100 to go... Almost a safety that time! Maybe you should draft Manning! He never takes a sack and God knows you need a break! But let's assume you're loving Eli instead - you can't, well, maybe you can take him in the 5 spot but that pitch would curve so much Prince couldn't hit it! How about a WR? Afterall, can anyone really trust one of the backs available after LT and SJ...I'll help you with that one - NO! Historically 40-50% of all positional players finishing in the top-10 turnover the next season - Yikes! Well, who is this year's Lamont Jordan? How about Shaun Alexander? Portis? Need more proof - 2005 - Priest, Jamal, Domanick Davis, McGahee, Deuce...We know there are guys who will fail (Ricky H doesn't count) so who's going to pick up the torch and run with it in 2007? My monies on anyone but me - because WR haven't busted in our league in the first! Or, better yet, take WRs in front of me and leave me to skillfully pick this year's SJ who unbelievably fell to DNICE in 2006!

3rd and Oooops - even Manning can't help you.

Goal Line Stand - BIG Dan

I'll admit, this goal line stand is a tad boring since it's crystal clear what Big Dan is doing...but it's our job to make the Performance Enhancers aware of all the intricacies that a magazine purchased at BWI won't provide...

1st and Goal...RBs. You have NO Choice but to draft RBs with your first two picks. Period. With two WR keeps, a stud in Lee Evans and the main man in Seattle with the departure of DJAX and his untrustworthy knee, you MUST go RBs. We know what your thinking though, "I'm not gonna let Senuta and Vogel tell ME what I'm going to do." Ok, Dan. If you choose to be stubborn, you choose to bury your chances of beating Senuta in the playoffs, too...

2nd and Goal..."Well, maybe I should grab Manning in the 2nd. After all, if he somehow falls to me there, I've got to grab him because the prospects of taking Thomas Jones, Rudi Johnson, Edge, and Portis...PORTIS? He's still there - put it on the board!"

Oh, Danny Boy...the sweet seduction of a Redskin coming of injury and in a timeshare is not the direction to go in. Besides, with D&D contemplating keeping the $10 Ladell Betts anyways, it kills your chances of drafting him in the 8th to handcuff your main man. But on the flip side, at least it frees up a handcuff pick in the earlier rounds so you can grab Robbie Gould. Or, maybe you should go with the value and grab Marvelous Marvin since your best WR beyond the 2nd round is likely the Ultra-Reliable, Randy Moss...good luck.

Goal Line Stand - D&D

First I have to echo the warranted remarks by Juice - a suggestion though, D&D should probably consult with Ricky H about his next name change considering his depth of experiences...ie. Flava Sava, Fallujah Footballers, Leesburg Landscapers and I know there are few I'm forgetting - regardless, despite his tendency of giving everyone tremendous opportunities the first time, the name "giver", "generous", and "how bout my 3rd" are not names I would recommend taking on...actually, maybe you should try to do your own work for a change and stop riding other people's coattails! On to the expert analysis...

3rd & Goal... We all know he's capable of stupid decisions, but WILL D&D draft Peyton in the 2nd in the rare instance Ricky H passes him up in the 11 spot? Ironically, this would mirror Ricky's move from last season by having a stud keep (at the time), Eli, and drafting Peyton in the 1st! If I'm not mistaken, wasn't D&D the one giving Flava shit for it in the first few weeks? My guess is he fights the urge and selects AJ or Roy Williams despite the presence of the new stud, Calvin Johnson.

4th & Goal... Historically, teams with RBs have proven to win when it counts the most, with the exception of Juice's unfortunate, untimely, and rapidly becoming the norm, playoff losses. However, if in fact D&D is intent on winning the "real" trophy in 2007, shouldn't he be smart enough to draft a more certain back, the safer RB pick, in round one rather than become blinded by the man fast enough to race and beat a weak colt? And anyways, isn't the only sure "horse" in this league the jackass, aka - D&D!

Goal Line Stand #3 ---- D.& D.

1st & Goal ... To be perfectly honest Kevin Conley - better known as Dumb and Dangerous - has taken his fair share of punishment over the last two years however, I would like to be the first to credit him for his astute ability to adapt quickly. The kid has positioned himself to make a serious run at an FPT championship in only 3 seasons....impressive. He no longer questions his decision-making process and demonstrates a much needed analytical prowess that trumps most other fantasy diehards. With his sudden ascent to the Fantasy elite I am seriously recommending a franchise name change that is more fitting, showing the respect the man deserves. I am suggesting something short and strong, similar to the man's build .... simply put......."the COACH".

2nd & Goal .... Now I feel as though we can actually make a stand versus the powerful attack that is Dumb & Dangerous after giving him his due respect. Conley will undoubtedly take a WR with his first overall selection...he realizes that he can make his mark with this move selecting his projected #1 receiver instead of a servicable running back with upside! Here's the problem though...this strategy ends up forcing him to draft another wideout in Round 2 where he feels he will be building a receiving corp that will rival the one the Shadow put together a year ago. The problem is he now rolls into Week1 with Cadillac Williams as his RB1 ... maybe Marshawn Lynch or Adrian Peterson as his RB2. Not the most daunting RBBC in league history, but at least he'll have 85 or Steve Smith working alongside Andre Johnson. And the best news for Conley is he can continue his love affair with LaMont Jordan this year ... except now it won't cost him MJD - instead he can simply draft him as his RB2 and look for this year's MJD and trade him for Patrick's 2007 first round bust!!!!!!!!!!


3rd & Goal ... it's coming!!!!!!!!!!!

Goal Line Stand #3 - D&D

To be continued...

Goal Line Stand #2 ... D-"Not-So"-Nice

3rd & Goal ... For two years D-Nice has been the envy of the league benefiting from yet another Ricky H. blunder however, this season not one GM in the league wants what D-"Not-So"-Nice has ... Vog already explained the nightmare that is LJ. Allow me to explain the other less enviable situations. First, picking in the #9 slot forces Mark to have to take a receiver because he won't find anyone like S-Jax late this year in the muddled mix of backs that will be left. So once Conley takes 85 Mark will roll the dice on Steve Smith and pray Delhomme has a decent year. Here's the shocker though...Mark takes another receiver at the 13 spot...Why???...well he realizes that their are only a few top notch pass catchers and he has no 3rd rounder...OUCH! One back and two receivers after 3 rounds...sounds earily similar to his first draft 2 years ago ... problem is he's not rolling with LT -- he's limping in with LJ.

4th & Goal ... Simplly put ... the LJ keeper doesn't allow for Marky Mark to get his guy ... Mr. Tom Brady. WHY?? He misses his third round pick and Brady is gone by his forth because Ricky B. grabs him on the loop. So then what ... Bulger, McNabb, Kitna....Not so fast my friend...he's stuck with needing a back and man are there slim pickens ... LaMont, the Jones Boys, Tatum freaking Bell.............Well the good thing is Mark can at least keep the gunslinger - Mr. Brett Favre....maybe he will three-peat.....well Maybe Not!!!!!!!!!!

Goal Line Stand - DNice

To Dinora's credit, he has engraved his name on the FPT Championship trophy for two seasons in a row now...The only question - is the SOLE reason for his dominance a result of LJ being available on waivers after Ricky H dropped him in 2005? But more importantly, can he afford to ride this 3rd round pick's overworked back in 2007? Let's examine...

1st & Goal... LJ is on the cusp of a nasty contract situation with a notorious owner who doesn't pay his stars. Throw in the fact that the offensive line is entering another season with the exit of another perennial All-Pro blocker (The Willie Boys), forcing their best pass catching threat, Tony G., to stay in and block....oh, and Damon Huard or Brodie Croyle are the ones tossing the pill around this season. So, from a personnel perspective, it appears LJ better dust of the diaper from a few years back because I think someone may shit the bed in 2007...

2nd & Goal... How many carries/touches can one man handle over 16 games? Does history indicate trouble on the horizon? Lets have a look... Historically speaking, only one player has ever averaged 30 touches a game over a 16 game slate - James Wilder back in 1984. LJ has 745 touches over the last 25 games, 29.8/gm...Over that span, his numbers have dropped in both yards per touch and yards per carry (down almost a full yard respectively). Throw in the fact that defensive players are much bigger, faster, stronger than their predecessors, your line is in shambles, you're looking at a youthful QB situation with the departure of Big Dan's man - Trent Green - and you find that a salary of less than $2 million for 2007 isn't the least bit motivating...Oh, and his team isn't likely to be competitive this year - Add it all up and it gives me $2 million reasons not to keep him as my 3rd round pick...

Hey Juiceman, I'm getting a cramp...

Schoolgirls - 3rd and goal!

Nice work on the first two downs, Juice...not bad for a someone built like Scott Player.

Alright Drury, time for the muscle!

3rd & goal... Desperate times call for trading 3rd round draft picks but Drury is smarter than that so he looks to make a move with the younger Skertich. Since Drury is content with Addai, Westbrook, Bush, or Alexander, why not swap with Ninja Mafia who can't afford to spend a 1st on a RB with the same bye week as MJD (4) or Henry (6) (Bush - wk 4 or Addai - wk 6). I smell another move for P-Skert.

4th & goal... Well, Ninja isn't budging and Brain doesn't know we draft in odd years so looks like Drury needs to pull the trigger on a risky Addai. "Risky" you say, well defending the Colts championship behind a weakened line (Tarik Glenn retiring?), no reliable running mate like last season in Rhodes, and having never carried the whole load dating back to his days as a Tiger at LSU (shared carries with Vincent and Broussard) seems like the furthest thing from certain in my book...and given your recent draft history, Alexander looked much less "risky" going into 2006 than Addai does in 2007. Either way, someone needs to pair with Deuce in the Schoolgirls backfield if you expect to advance into this season's championship bracket!

Some may say the 3 spot is enviable; not this season though! Deciding between a muddled tier of RBs and crossing your fingers that a quality WR somehow slips through the fingers of picks 7-17 makes this position perhaps the worst to be in this year. Wanna swap?

Goal Line Stand #1

Schoolgirls -----

1st & Goal ... Tough call with his keeper situation...does he keep two decent wide receivers in Clayton and Moss who have big play potential and an upside that puts them easily in the top 20 receivers OR does he keep the bruising back in the potent New Oleans offense who may be in for a bigger year with everyone keying on Mr. Reggie Bush this season. When Deuce is healthy he's effective so does that warrant a keeper in the 7th round or do you go Moss in the 8th.....I think you go Moss in the 8th!!!

2nd & Goal ... the 3rd overall pick may be the best spot in the draft because nobody sees it as a "no-brainer" so Schoolgirls has the flexibilty that the Senuta brothers do not and that is he is able to take someone who he himself feels will be this year's Steven Jackson(10th pick last season). Does he go Addai, Bush, Westbrook or Alexander --- that is the next tier of great receivers however, he may feel another back deserves to be in that 2nd tier....Ronnie Brown comes to mind under Cam Cameron(look what he did with LT) OR does he go with Peyton Manning...Mr. Consistency.....I say no chance in hell...you need to leave him for Ricky H. at the loop now that he has Maroney and Colston locked up. Either Way Schoolgirls will need to grab Thomas Jones or Edge with the second because he'll need to back up any and all of these backs with a SOLID #2 back because anyone of them may turn out to be this year's LaMont Jordan .... just ask P.SKERT!!!!

3rd and Goal .... we need to bring in a bigger run stuffer....so Vogel .......

New Feature: Goal Line Stand

In an effort to help you poor saps get a better handle on some of the key concerns surrounding many of your prominent keeper candidates/draft choices, the JuiceMan and UCB have decided to post our expert analysis since Ricky H seems to be so concerned with how we see things...

Today we take on the draft position of our #3 man, Schoolgirls.

Stay tuned...

It'll take more than luck this year, boys...

FPT 2007 - Family Gathering

Fully understanding the ChiTown contingent is likely out of an early August gathering on the East Coast, I felt it appropriate to post an invite to my fellow owners and their families for August 4th at 3:00 in the lovely town of New Market, otherwise known as, "the home of the 2007 FPT Champion." Would love to see everyone there, especially the two-time defending champ's family...

In related news, we have received assurances that the slippery Ricky H will be in attendance with his daughter -history suggests, THIS NEWS is a real reason to celebrate...first one to the goal post gets Rick's 2nd round pick!!!

We have a TRADE!

Richard gets - This guy, minus the effective stiff arm in the 7th

Skertich gets - Rick's 3rd round pick (30th overall)

Nice work, boys...

Gentlemen ... we are looking at about 50 days until the 2007 FPT Chi-town Draft!!! As we prepare for the inagural event I have had a few thoughts that I wanted to share with the masses.
1. Will Ricky B. be able to pass on Peyton Manning when he is staring him in the face at the 10-11 loop with Vince Young being kept...maybe you're forced to throw VY back in the pot to avoid the 2-quarterback quandry the kid may face again. Tough call!!!

2. Perhaps Conley actually drafts #85 with his first round pick forgeting that he wasn't even ranked in the top 30 wide-outs for over half the year...thank goodness for the 2 Lee Evans games he had late!!! Seriously, no way you pass on a guy who beat a horse on foot and is due for a monster season.....do you.....maybe???

3. Maybe Rick won't face the Manning decision because Brain realizes there is no sure fire pick at the 5 spot once Bush and Westbrook are off the board - don't yo have to take the sure thing???

4. No way Dan passes on Portis in round 2 ... unless he sees Betts as a huge problem. At least he'll be able to draft someone like Cedric Benson who will get the majority if not all the carries for Da Bears -- "don't they run a lot???"

5. Sucks for PSkert because he wants to take Benson but can't pass on Bush or Westbrook despite Westbrook being injury prone and Bush split time with Duece...not to mention the long standing tradition of the 2nd year slump thing!!!
Truthfully, I think I'd rather be drafting where he is because in our leauge those two guys are money!!!

6. Here's a thought --- D-nice is looking to defend his title and three-peat...impressive to say the least, however, can you repeat with Maroney and T.O. in the 1st and 2nd and giving up your 3rd rounder on a keeper who isn't even sure he wants to attend training camp, carried the ball over 400 times and who's best blocker may be Tony G. .... OUCH!!!!!!

7. Will the Shadow feel comfortable with DeAngelo and S-Jax in the backfield or does he look to sure it up with one of his favorites...Mr. Thomas Jones in the 2nd.....I think he has too considering DeShaun Foster just won't go away!

I'm done for now...I'll chack in later.....Vogel and Drury .... honestly, I haven't though tmuch about it because I think you both see things pretty well so I know you'll do well!

senuta