Is April too early for a mock?

Some of you laugh but all of you crave it - consider this your primer on who you'll keep and what your plans are for that fateful day in August...

1.  UCB - (Colston, Witten, and Thomas) 

Purple Jesus

You don't take the number one pick if you don't

 love AP...although, I could certainly look at SJax or Forte, too!

2.  D&D - (Brees, Cotchery, and Hixon)

Forte

It pains you to do it but you take last year's 6th rounder in the #2 spot in 2009!  I'm proud of you, son.. who would have thought that a short time after drafting an injured Duce Staley in the 4th a few years ago you would actually have been ahead of the curve with a rising stud in 2008???

3.  100% Juice - (Gore, Royal, and Bryant)

Smokescreen?  I think not!  SJax

Sure you'll tout the opportunity to draft Fitz here but you and I both know your affinity for true #1s who never come off the field (unless you're Peterson but that doesn't even matter...).  Enjoy the possible yardage and catch kickers in that weak NFC West, my friend!  However, coming off a down RB year, do you trust that your fellow owners will stick to their guns or begin to shift to what looks to be a PPR world on the PainTrain?  I feel a run on wideouts coming...

4.  The Legend - (Bowe, Chris Johnson, and Hester)

Fitz

In all the years you've played this pretend game, isn't it amazing you must consider a WR here?After all, everyone drafting behind you is salivating with every knuckleheaded RB pick because they all know (even Brain) that RBBC is here to stay and unfortunately the PPR backs left aren't in 3-down situations expect maybe Westbrook.  With that, you take 2008's stud and hope he's willing to buck the "down year trend" that every #1 faces the following season...

  

5.  Flava Savers - (Benson, McClain, and DeAngelo Williams)

Kevin Walter's more consistent, dynamic, and reliable counterpart - aka - AJ

Ricky's like Pavlov's dog when it comes to WR and draft time - get the kid a bib!  I'm writing this in pen right now - Flava takes Andre Johnson.

6.  Brain - (Grant, Austin, and Branch)

Calvin Johnson

Tempting and probably smart to take a back here but you'll love the Midwest hype and succumb to Matthew Stafford's monster arm...In the end it doesn't make a damn difference because this is the player Juice subliminally implored you to take - I wonder why?

7.  Performance Enhancers - (Evans, Slaton, and Clark)

Westbrook

Interesting slot for the two-time champ but we're talking a traditionalist here with little chutzpah to go outside his comfort zone (despite his "zone" being the winner's circle!).  Despite the injury-prone rep and 30 knocking at the door, Westbrook is a safer play than Slaton this season...BUT, take it from an Eagles fan and more importantly, someone who understands that McCoy maybe the handcuff if you want catches, but Leonard Weaver is the guy to punch it in at the goalline in 2009!  Did you know this guy can catch, too - 59 catches the last two seasons to be exact!

8.  DNice United - (Welker, Orton, Eli Eli Oh...)

Randy Moss

The annual slide of a once prominent player who many wonder if Brady's leg and the departure of McDaniels will keep Randy from Top-10 production...vintage Dinora!  Considering your willingness to make bold moves though, I suspect this might be the curveball slot - clearly you can wait till Ninja and SchoolGirls pick before grabbing Tom Brady so I'm thinking Mr. Moss will fill part of your Patriot quota for the time being!

 

9.  SchoolGirls - (White, Turner, and Warner)

LT

This guy can't continue to slide!  Hell, if Fred Taylor can get it done after 30 surely LT can...at least you hope so!  

10.  Ninja Mafia (MJD, Rivers, and Marshall)

Steve Smith

Oh the first turn, what a great slot if you like seeing tons of wr and rb value disappear before your next picks!